The Anatomy scan at 20 weeks

We were so excited to find out boy or girl! In the back of our minds we were concerned for our baby's health during the scan, but honestly didn't worry too much since we had healthy Max and I had an unremarkable first trimester. The US tech smeared the cold gel on my growing belly and the first thing I saw was that we were having another boy! I looked at Jens and giggled "it's another boy!!" We were excited for Max to have a brother! When some time passed after she said healthy heart, stomach, spine, brain, etc I started to wonder what she was inspecting. Finally she said "I think he has a cleft lip." I went silent. I didn't really know what that meant for us but when I think of cleft lip, I picture those poor children on operation smile commercials from third world countries. How could this have happened to our child? I did everything you are supposed to do when pregnant yet we had a child with a birth defect?! I was silent until we got to my exam room. When the door closed and it was just us I looked at Jens and lost it. I just didn't understand and immediately started blaming myself. I didn't take enough vitamins I thought, those 2-4-1 margaritas I had two days before finding out I as pregnant. I just didn't get it! After much research and assurance from my doctors I learn that the cause of isolated cleft lipsare unknown. There are lots of theories...genetics, age, vitamin deficiencies, timing, diabetes, even medications and substance abuse/smoking. However the majority of the time, there is no reason. It just happens. Well...Fast forward to the nextday after many tears and fears we had an ultrasound with the specialist to confirm cleft and talk about other tests to assure this was an isolated cleft and not some sort of syndrome. Fun fact: over 200 genetic syndromes include cleft lip/palate as a symptom. The most concerning Trisomy 18. Thankfully that ultrasound and following blood work went well and he was perfectly healthy at this point except the cleft. "What now" I thought. While pregnant there really is nothing you can do except research all the trials you may or may not experience and think and worry...And forget it and be excited for your new little one. We did a little of both. So....Now we wait.